


Screw You Pierre

by RosettaStone



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Abigail appears in a group chat, And He LIES about where he got it from, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Player (Stardew Valley), Mostly Sam POV, Pierre is mentioned, This is about what happens if you sell Gold Quality products to Pierre, they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-19 05:09:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29994369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosettaStone/pseuds/RosettaStone
Summary: Pierre lies about where he got his top quality produce from. Farmer finds out and is NOT happy about it.
Kudos: 12





	Screw You Pierre

**Author's Note:**

> Dear Pierre,
> 
> I hate you
> 
> Sincerely, Me

"Sam!" The farmer called out in an angry manner. For a moment, Sam panicked, trying to remember if he had done anything to incur the local farmer's wrath.

As the farmer angrily stomped towards him, he decided to yell "I didn't do it!" in hopes to appease the raging farmer of whatever way he may have done to wrong the other. The skater let out an unmanly squeak as the farmer, with strength built from the seasons of manual labor, grabbed his shirt and easily lifted him up despite his height advantage. 

"Did you buy some blueberries from Pierre?" the farmer growled at him, as if the feat of strength wasn't enough to put the fear of Yoba into him.

In his terrified state, Sam didn't even think of lying. "Yes!" He admitted.

"Was it good?"

"I put it on a pizza! It was Delicious!" He cried.

That caused a paused in the farmer, anger smacking face first into a wall of confusion. "You did what?"

"Uhhh put it on a pizza?" He calmed a little, sensing that he's not in danger for the moment. "It's surprisingly good if you want to try it."

The farmer blankly stared at Sam for a good minute, before taking a deep breath, and (finally) calmly put him down, to the immense relief of the skater. He was still a little wary though, as the farmer still had an intense burning look in their eyes.

"I want you to be honest with me." They began. "When you bought the blueberries, did Pierre say where he got them from?"

Sam was confused, but obliged anyway. "He was bragging that it was grown in his personal garden I think? That it was the highest quality he picked out for sale."

The farmer made a cracking sound from their knuckles that probably wasn't natural. "Thank you." They say, with a chill in their voice that has Sam shuddering. They slink off towards the direction of Marnie's ranch as Sam let out a sigh of relief at surviving that ordeal. 

"What was that about?" Sebastian asked, having arrive just in time to see Sam clenching his chest in relief while the local Farmer slinked away. 

Sam turned towards his best friend with teary eyes. "I don't know! They just came up to me and started asking me about buying blueberries from Pierre. They looked really terrifyingly angry."

Sebastian hummed in thought as he lit a cigarette. "I did over hear Demetrius talking to them this morning about buying the nicest fiddlehead fern he'd ever seen that Pierre "foraged" this morning."

"Wait what?" Sam startled. "Didn't Abigail say her dad hates trekking into the woods? Or anywhere outside of Town for the matter."

"Precisely." Sebastian snorted. "Mystery solved. We know who's the one who really got those produce now."

"Man, not cool Pierre. Not cool." Sam shook his head. Then a mischievous grin lit up his face "Should I prank him in honour of our local farmer?"

Sebastian rolled his eyes at Sam's behaviour. "And rack up even more hours of community work for yourself? Plus you probably shouldn't piss off the only grocer in town."

"Aw I didn't think about that." Sam laments. "Can't regret having a Movie Theater in place of JojaMart though."

'Anyway, I got a feeling the farmer will handle this themself.' Sebastian idly thought as Sam continued on about the latest movie of the season.


End file.
